Worth Saving
by Sophie6
Summary: Spike-Fred friendship and romance. Several ficlets that will progress with S5.
1. First Name Basis

Title : Worth Saving Author : Sophie Pairing : Spike/Fred Disclaimer : Not mine Rating : PG (for now) Spoilers : S5 through Hell Bound  
  
PART I - First Name Basis  
  
SPIKE  
  
Her name is Winifred Burkle.  
  
What is it with me and girls with weird names? Anyway, here everyone call her Fred.  
  
A masculine name for such a pretty bird. And smart too.  
  
I spend a lot of time in her lab lately. Just talking. Oh, and flirting too. Because then she giggles and blushes and she's too damn cute when she does that.  
  
And thank God that she's here. Since I came back, she's the only thing that's kept me sane.  
  
Sometimes I like to think we're friends. As much as a Science Queen working for an evil law firm and a Vampire-Ghost may be. Strangely, she's probably the only person I have talked to the most in the past four years. Or I should say, I have opened up to the most. She does that to me.  
  
I told her a lot about myself. About what had happened in SunnyHell, my life with Buffy. Told her all the sordid details. Because I don't want her to fantasize and see me like some bloody romantic hero.  
  
And the looks she gives me sometimes.nobody has ever looked at me that way. Nobody.  
  
And at those moments, I wish I was the hero she thinks I am.  
  
For her.  
  
So now, I don't know why the soddin' Powers That Be - or whatever the hell they are - brought me back. I thought my fate had been sealed when I wore the amulet, turned into a big pile of ashes and got buried deep under what used to be Sunnydale.  
  
Apparently, I was wrong.  
  
And everything is wrong. Angel hates me. I hate him. The others don't give a damn about me, I'm just a potential guinea pig to them.  
  
Except for her.  
  
So, I'm not totally pissed. Because she's there. She said she would help me, and I trust her.  
  
And if I ever get corporeal again, the first thing I want to do is hold her hand.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
FRED  
  
He told me his real name is William.  
  
I think it suits him. Or at least it suits to the parts of him that I foresaw. The parts he doesn't show to anyone else.  
  
Then again, how can they not see it? He's wearing his heart on his sleeve. His face is an open book. He's fascinating. And I'm not talking about the fact that he's some vampire-ghost with a soul that saved the world and was brought b ack for whatever reason.  
  
He's fascinating as a man.  
  
Oh, and he's gorgeous too. I maybe a science geek, but I'm not blind. And when he flirts with me, and gives me that sexy smirk and does that thing with his tongue between his lips.well, I have trouble remembering my name.  
  
But there's so much more than that. He's been hanging out at the lab lately, and we talk. I told him about my life in Pylea, and the first years at Angel Investigations.  
  
And he told me.about Buffy. Everything that happened. The chip in his head, him falling in love with her, their affair. How he got his soul back, and especially the reason why he did it.  
  
Of course I was a bit shocked at first. And I know he told me on purpose. It hasn't been long, but I feel I know him pretty well already. And I know he doesn't want me to see him as someone exceptional, or even remotely special.  
  
But I can't look at him any other way. Because he is. So much.  
  
I can't help but wonder if the Slayer realized what a treasure she had beside her. I don't know her, and I don't want to judge her.  
  
All I know is that every time her name is mentioned Angel makes that funny face and then stays in a broody silence (although that's his usual state of mind, but still.). And Spike.like I said, an open book. Where I read love, but mostly pain. Inflicted by her.  
  
So I don't think I like her very much.  
  
She doesn't know he's back. Or if she does, she doesn't seem in a hurry to come and visit him.  
  
That's her loss, I suppose.  
  
And sometimes, during very short foolish moments, I can't help but hope it's my gain. 


	2. Feather Touch

Title : Worth Saving Author : Sophie Pairing : Spike/Fred Rating : PG (for now) Disclaimer : Not mine Spoilers : S5 through Hell Bound  
  
PART II - Feather Touch  
  
He rarely sits down but always paces around the lab. He can't stay still for more than five minutes. It makes her laugh. And it makes her dizzy sometimes.  
  
Fred tries to finish her report, but she can't really concentrate when he's around. And not only because he's talking.  
  
Angel came by a little earlier. The two vampires had their usual friendly banter - 'I hate you' 'Not as much as I hate you' 'You are a pain in the ass' 'Sod off, you bloody ponce' - and so on. She never intervenes of course, except when Angel told Spike to leave her alone.  
  
"I like having him around," she told Angel. She could see he was surprised, and had to repress a smile when Spike stuck out his tongue at him behind his back.  
  
Besides, Spike's tongue always brings highly disturbing thoughts.  
  
Fred closes her book, takes off her glasses and rubs her eyes.  
  
"Tired, pet?" he asks, concerned.  
  
"Yeah, a little. It's been a long day. I'm afraid I didn't make much progress on our case."  
  
He smiles because she always says 'our case'. Not 'your case'. They're together in this. "Don't worry. Besides, it's not like I'm totally helpless now, am I? If I really want to, I can touch pretty much everything," he says, trying to grab a stapler.and failing.  
  
"I guess the stapler kinda lacks appeal," she says, giggling.  
  
"Compared to other things, it certainly does," he replies, and the way he looks at her makes her blush. She should be used to it by now. He always does that friendly flirtation with her. That doesn't mean anything.  
  
So she busies herself with putting the lab in order. When she's done, she turns to him. He's facing the window, with a faraway look on his face.  
  
She knows exactly what's on his brain. Or rather.Who.  
  
At that moment, he's very far away from her. And even if she tries to understand it, there's always a stupid and irrational jealousy crawling around her heart. She represses it hard and fast.  
  
"Do you miss her?" she asks softly. She has to remember she's his friend first and foremost. If he needs to talk, she has to be there and listen.  
  
He turns to her and smiles sadly. "Yeah. I do."  
  
"You should call her."  
  
"Well, yeah, except I don't have her number. Big Poofy Boss doesn't want to give it to me, remember?"  
  
She nods, thinking that Angel though might be 250 years old, he's sometimes terribly stupid and immature.  
  
"And as much as I would love to see her one more time, I don't think it would be a good idea."  
  
She sits down next to him and leans on the windowpane. He looks at her and she tries to focus on his words and not on how blue his eyes are.  
  
"Sometimes I've got the feeling we came full circle, you know. Whatever our lives - or unlives - were, they got buried with Sunnydale. She built herself a new life in Europe, probably with Rupert and her sis. She doesn't need me to come and disturb that, and." He stops and his eyes widen, as if he's surprised by what he's about to say. ".And I don't need her. I have a lot of things on my plate right now, what with that bloody spook problem, and maybe trying to figure out why I was brought back. And well, pissing off that wanker you call 'boss' makes it even fun sometimes," he adds with a smirk.  
  
She giggles. "Yeah, I kinda noticed that."  
  
There's a short comfortable silence and she thinks about something. Something she'll regret, but.  
  
"Spike, if you really want, I could get it for you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Buffy's number. It's in Angel's address book. I know where it is."  
  
"You mean you would steal it for me?"  
  
She blushes again - it's like some chronic disease when he's around - but says "Yeah, if you want to call it that.I was thinking more about sneaking into Angel's office behind his back and borrowing it."  
  
"Sounds a lot like stealing to me, love."  
  
"Well, whatever. Do you want it or not?"  
  
He smiles, watching her tenderly. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this amazing girl's friendship - maybe saving the world helped a little bit - but he's eternally thankful for it.  
  
"Fred.Thank you. But no."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yes. I'll let fate decide. The last time Buffy and I saw each other, everything was said I think.it would make the situation really awkward between us now."  
  
Fred nods, although she doesn't understand everything. He didn't tell her about that. But what matters to her is that she proposed. And he said no.  
  
That was probably not an easy decision for him to make. She would give a lot to be able to hug him now. So she just looks at him with everything she has in her - friendship, compassion, understanding. And other emotions she's not aware of.  
  
He raises his hand and brings it to her cheek.  
  
They both jump simultaneously when it comes in contact.  
  
She closes her eyes at the touch of his palm, and he marvels at the feel of her soft cheek. It's even softer than he thought it would be. And he has thought about it. Every time he lays his eyes on her.  
  
"Thank you, Fred," he whispers, and although he's smiling, his tone is serious.  
  
"You're welcome, William."  
  
To be continued. 


	3. Knight in Shining Leather

Title: Worth Saving Author: Sophie Pairing: Spike/Fred Rating: PG Disclaimer: Not mine Spoilers: Through 'Life of the Party' A/N: Lyrics from 'The Power of Love' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood  
  
Part III - Knight in Shining Leather  
  
Spike finds her in the lab. She's sleeping on the floor, her glasses in her hands and some papers scattered nearby. He smiles. She probably worked late - again - and fell asleep.  
  
Everybody has left the building. Angel is probably in his apartment. Spike likes to wander around during the night. It's quiet. Then at the same time, he never feels alone. There are always ethereal sounds, like voices, resonating here and there. And he often feels like someone is watching him.  
  
But it doesn't bother him. It keeps him on edge, like when he was wandering in his cemetery in Sunnydale, or patrolling with.  
  
Spike sits down next to Fred. He wishes he could lift her in his arms and bring her to the couch, make her more comfortable. But he can't, and as always frustration is his lot. And when it comes to Fred, it's even worse.  
  
But at least he can stay with her. Watch her sleep. Protect her from the nasties, and God knows they must be legions in this building. If any of them want to harm her, he will find in him the strength to be able to hit back.  
  
Concentrating, he puts his hand on hers. There's a little spark. She doesn't wake up but her lips twist in a slight smile. Carefully, he tries again, and this time he's able to hold it. Her hand. Like he had promised himself he would.  
  
He watches her, peace overcoming him. An eighties song comes to mind and he sings it softly to her.  
  
"I'll protect you from the hooded claw, Keep the vampires from your door."  
  
§§§§§§§§§§  
  
"Boss! Wake up. Boss?"  
  
Fred opens her eyes and sees Knox's face above hers. He's shaking her slightly.  
  
"You fell asleep. Again," he admonishes her gently.  
  
"Oh. what time is it?" she asks, trying to shake the fog from her brain. She get up, wincing at her sore muscles, and picks up the papers on the floor.  
  
"It's 8.00 am. You should go home and get some rest."  
  
"No, I'll be fine. I'll just take a shower and then I'll be back. We have a lot of work to do."  
  
"You're the boss," Knox replies, good-humoured as always.  
  
Fred watches her hand. There's a strange feeling in it. It tickles a bit, and it's warm.  
  
She frowns, fragments of the previous night seemingly coming back. She remembers feeling safe and protected. She remembers hearing a soft song and a soothing voice with a British accent.  
  
Wesley has a British accent too, but it never brings butterflies to her stomach like his does.  
  
Again, Fred watches her hand, and smiles. 


	4. Kissing Stories

Title: Kissing Stories Author: Sophie Pairing: Spike/Fred Disclaimer: Not mine Spoilers: Through 'Lineage'.  
  
PART IV - Kissing Stories  
  
Fred is sitting on the big table in Angel's office, facing the view. The lights are dimmed so she can admire it, and sometimes she still tries to locate the Hyperion.  
  
Her right arm is still in the sling and she tries to eat a piece of chocolate cake with the other.  
  
"Want some help with that, love?"  
  
She jumps, surprised, and the plate in her lap almost falls - but Spike catches it.  
  
"Well done," Fred comments, while he gives it back to her. He sits down on the table beside her.  
  
"Nice view," he says.  
  
"Yeah.that's why I came here. With that nice chocolate cake to keep me company. Want a bite?" she asks without thinking.  
  
Spike gives her a sideway glance and smirks. She giggles. "Right, wrong choice of words, I guess. Hmm, so.you want some?"  
  
Realizing she is just digging her own grave, Fred blushes and gives him the plate. "Ok. I'll shut up now."  
  
Spike laughs heartily - something he only does when he's around her. "Thanks. But seeing as I'm all non-corporeal, I'd rather not think where that food would actually go."  
  
She looks at him. "Maybe it would fall off of you. It could be funny. Actually, wouldn't you want to try.?"  
  
He glares at her. "Definitely no."  
  
Spike concentrates on cutting a small part of the cake and feeding her. Funny how it seems suddenly easy to touch things when it concerns Fred. "I used to love those flowery shaped fried onions at the Bronze.Bloody brilliant stuff."  
  
"The Bronze?"  
  
"The club in Sunnydale where I used to hang out."  
  
He gives her the last part of the cake before putting the plate on the table behind her. The mention of Sunnydale generally makes him kind of mopey, so she doesn't say anything.  
  
"That's where I kissed Buffy for the first time," he suddenly says.  
  
She gives him a smile of encouragement, showing him she's all ears. He doesn't talk about Buffy much, so she's glad when he lets his guard down and doesn't keep it inside. Even if hearing him talk about Buffy isn't really her favourite topic in the world.  
  
"In fact it was in the alley behind the Bronze. And technically, we had kissed before, but it had been under Red's spell. I mean, Willow."  
  
Fred's eyes light up. "Yes, I met her last year. A very nice girl. We didn't have much time, but we seemed to have a lot in common. We're both nerds," she smiled.  
  
"Very pretty nerds," he smiles back.  
  
"So, Buffy.and the kiss?"  
  
"Yes.so, our first real kiss was behind the Bronze.after that wanker Harris had summoned a demon that made everybody sing.nothing to do with Lorne. Except maybe for the outfit. Then, the second time it was also at the Bronze. We had all lost our memories - courtesy of Willow again - and it had been a.painful day for several reasons. Buffy's Watcher left, and.I told you the rest already."  
  
Fred nods, not knowing what to say, so she slips her hand in his. They do the hand holding quite often, and she secretly hopes for the next step - a hug.  
  
Spike watches their intertwined fingers. "That's weird," he says.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I think it's the first time I mention Buffy without having this sinking feeling in my stomach."  
  
"Well, you know what they say.time heals everything."  
  
"Time and the friendship of a pretty bird named Winifred," he replies, kissing her hand.  
  
On an impulse, she leans and kisses his cheek. Then of course comes the inevitable blushing. He smiles fondly at her and kisses her hair.  
  
Is this turning into a kisses contest? She wonders. God, she would love that.  
  
But he's not ready. And maybe she's not ready either. And ready for what exactly? She's not even sure.but she knows she has a lot of patience.  
  
Spike is worth saving.and he's definitely worth waiting for.  
  
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§  
  
Angel walks into his office and stops when he sees the two figures sitting side by side on the table. They talk and laugh softly.  
  
Angel frowns, hesitates, before finally retreating back.  
  
TBC. 


	5. Moonlight Walk

Title: Worth Saving Author: Sophie Pairing: Spike/Fred Disclaimer: Not mine Rating: PG13 Spoilers : Angel 5.08 Destiny.  
  
PART V - Moonlight Walk  
  
"That's all we have for the moment," Angel says, dropping the file he was holding on the desk. "Hopefully we'll get more information tomorrow."  
  
The gang rise from their seats.  
  
"Do you want me to update Eve about this?" Gunn asks.  
  
"I'm sure Eve knows all the details already," Angel replies dryly.  
  
"Isn't there a way we can stuck her in the elevator for good? I thought last time was fun," Spike smirks, before making an 'ouch' face when Fred pokes him in the side.  
  
Lorne and Gunn leave, and Wesley takes the file. "Angel, I think I'll stay a little longer to research this, if that's alright."  
  
"Knock yourself out. I'm done for the night." From the corner of his eye, Angel sees Spike leaning into Fred.  
  
"Are you ready?" the younger vampire asks the brunette. She smiles at him. "I have to bring those papers back into the lab, and I'll meet you in the lobby."  
  
Spike nods, and turns to his grand sire. "Night, Angel," he says, before leaving the office.  
  
Fred is about to leave as well but Angel stops her. "Fred, can I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
"Sure." Her face falls. "Oh please, don't tell me I went over the budget again. I was very careful this time and."  
  
"No, it's not the budget. It's about.Spike."  
  
She frowns. "Spike?"  
  
Angel clears his throat. "I noticed that the two of you are.close."  
  
Fred blushes, and Angel sighs. He knows Fred pretty well. And he doesn't like what he's about to do or say, but he cares about her and he has no other choice then.  
  
"Fred, you do know that Spike loves Buffy, right?"  
  
"Do * you * ?" she asks, raising her chin a little. Long gone is the shy girl who would hide in her room.  
  
"It took me a long time to admit it, but yes. I can accept he has true, deep feelings for her. And I don't want you to get hurt."  
  
She rolls her eyes. "Angel, please. I know you care about me, but I'm a big girl, ok? Spike and I are friends. Get over the idea that I have some schoolgirl crush on him."  
  
There. She said it without blushing. Or without having her nose growing like Pinocchio because of the enormous lie she just uttered.  
  
He nods. She can see he's not convinced. "Alright then. Just be careful."  
  
"I will. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
She's about to leave when Angel stops her again. "Fred?"  
  
She stops and turns around, exasperated. "What?"  
  
"Try not to hurt him either."  
  
§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§  
  
After leaving the restaurant, they decide for a walk on the beach. Spike buys her some candies. He knows she still feels a little bit disappointed not to have been the one to make him corporeal again, to have been supplanted by a box with a light and a woosh.  
  
It was also his idea to go to the restaurant, to take her out of her lab. Of course he nicked the money from Angel, but he's not going to tell her. And after all, it's only fair, since Spike has helped the gang a lot since he's been solid again. Why shouldn't he get paid like the others? He has to talk to Angel about that, and if the Ponce refuses he will find himself some trade union for vampire or something. He needs some money for himself, but also because it's nice to take a pretty girl on a date. Even Fred, who's just his friend.  
  
A bloody pretty female friend.  
  
Fred looks at him from time to time. He looks nice. He's not wearing his leather coat, but a dark blue button-down and a black denim jacket. He walks with his hands in his pockets, and Fred wonders how it would feel if he held hers. But like she said - lied - to Angel, Spike and her are friends. Even if they sometimes hold hands as some sort of friendship or comfort gesture, doing so while walking under the moon on an almost deserted beach might look slightly inappropriate.  
  
She sighs. He turns to her. "Something on your mind, pet?"  
  
"Oh, uh.no. Nothing important."  
  
"Could it have to do something with your little chat with Super Boss?"  
  
She opens her mouth, closes it. "Mmh, no, no. We had.a budget talk."  
  
God, she's such a terrible liar. It might work with Angel, but Spike doesn't buy it. "Fred?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You're lying to me."  
  
She winces. "I'm sorry."  
  
"You should be. Do you know what I used to do to people who lied to me?"  
  
A smile lifts the corner of his lips and there's a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"What?" she asks.  
  
"I ate them."  
  
Fred can't help but smile, even if she knows he's probably serious. She knows enough about his past now to have figured out that, for a long time, Spike was a vicious and cruel monster. Which makes his journey, and the man he has become, even more extraordinary.  
  
Suddenly, the image of Spike actually 'eating' her - and all the things it evokes - becomes very clear in her mind. She has never understood how some people can eroticise the mythology of the vampire. Having those fangs penetrates your throat, feeling the blood being sucked out of you, it must not be.  
  
She looks at Spike and suddenly she gets it. Her body gets it too, and rather violently. Her heart beats faster, her blood rushes in her veins, and she feels a pleasant ache in her southern regions. Thank God for the small breeze caressing her flushed cheeks.  
  
That same small breeze that reveals to Spike the extent of her.emotion. He sends her a quizzical look. He knows she likes him, and maybe she even fancies him a little. But that.that is different. And scary. He values their friendship greatly, and he won't do anything to jeopardize it. Ever. He won't screw what he has with Fred. And getting involved with her will do that for certain. After three hectic years with Buffy, his heart needs a break.  
  
But he has to admit that in the moonlight, walking beside him, she is gorgeous. And he's terribly tempted. But because of those mixy feelings he has about her, he decides to ignore it. For now.  
  
He stops and faces her. He can't help but raise his hand and caress her cheek, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.  
  
She smiles. "Do you want to know what Angel talked to me about?" she asks softly. He nods and she continues, "He asked me about my relationship with you. Made me understand I'd better stay away from you. That you might hurt me."  
  
"What did you tell him?"  
  
"To go to Hell. Only with more words and more politely."  
  
He smiles before becoming serious again. "I don't want to hurt you, love," he murmurs. "You're too important to me."  
  
"You are too. And I'm well aware that there's no.vacancy here for the moment," she says, placing her small hand on his heart.  
  
He takes it in his. "Oh, but you are here. Never doubt that. And you're taking a bloody big place."  
  
She brightens. "I am?"  
  
"Damn straight you are," he says, before leaning in to kiss her cheek. She closes her eyes to savour the feel of his cool lips on her skin.  
  
They resume walking and he keeps her hand in his. And it doesn't look inappropriate after all.  
  
It just looks right. 


	6. Mistletoe

Title: Worth Saving Author: Sophie Pairing: Spike/Fred Rating: PG Disclaimer: Not mine Spoilers: Destiny.  
  
PART VI - Mistletoe  
  
Spike closes the door of his apartment, which consists of a bedroom, a bathroom and a small salon, but still it's his own place. Situated on the last floor of the Wolfram & Hart building. Angel finally gave it to him, and to Spike's surprise, without too much groaning. Spike doesn't know if it's the Christmas spirit, but he has also received a salary for the case he has been helping with. Which is about bloody time.  
  
He still hasn't got an office though. He has to work on that a little bit more.  
  
In the meantime, he wants to do some Christmas shopping. Buy himself some more clothes. Also, he wants to find a present for Fred. He figures that if they go to the mall together, she will give him a clue as to what she might like. A fancy dress, a pretty necklace, a book.anything. He just wants to see her eyes shine when he gives it to her.  
  
He scolds himself. He's becoming an even greater poofter with Fred than he ever was with Buffy.  
  
But the girl touches him. Deeply. Differently than Buffy, but not less.  
  
Lately, he's been thinking a lot about Fred. Since that walk on the beach, something has changed. It's subtle, but he feels it. He tries to come up with excuses to go to the lab. Not that he needs any, she was clear on the fact that he can come anytime, but then he's too tempted to spend all his time there. To follow her like a faithful puppy making moon eyes. And that expression brings back painful memories. Been there, done that, got the soddin t-shirt.  
  
Of course he knows that Fred would never treat him like Buffy did back then. But she might hurt him. Unconsciously of course. Her kindness, those gorgeous brown eyes, that sweet smile are as lethal to his heart as Buffy's punches and disdain were. He slows down on his way to the lab. Maybe it's not such a good idea to spend so much time with her then. Maybe he has to be clearer with her on the fact that he's not ready yet. That, at some point, he will need to see Buffy to have a proper closure. And Hell, if Buffy arrives and jumps in his arms, he probably won't be able to say no to her. Then again, he doesn't know what he feels for the Slayer now, after all these months. He still loves her, of course, but.Fred has awoken something in him. Something precious and worth protecting. And he doesn't want to hurt her, never. He'd rather go to Hell than do that.  
  
The lab door is open. Fred and Knox are sitting at one of the tables busy on some experiments. Spike knocks and Fred raises her head. Her face brightens when she sees him. "Spike! Hey!"  
  
Right. Spending less time with her? Not an option.  
  
"I thought you might want to help me do some shopping," he says.  
  
She smiles. "Oh sure! If you give me a few minutes, I'll finish this." She goes back to her microscope and starts to explain some scientific stuff to Knox. Spike listens to her talk. He doesn't get a word of what she says, but it doesn't matter. Like Harris said once three apocalypses ago 'Smart chicks are so hot.'  
  
They are done, and Knox puts his jacket on. "Don't forget we have the annual Wolfram & Hart Christmas party tomorrow," he tells the other two.  
  
Fred frowns. "If it's anything like the Halloween party, I think I'll just pass."  
  
"Oh no, you have to come, Boss. I wasn't there for Halloween but it was some sort of spell, right? Besides, Santa is coming," he added with a goofy smile.  
  
Fred smiles. "Right. Because all the nice and innocent people at Wolfram & Hart still believe in Santa Claus."  
  
Knox looks at her, dumbfounded. "Of course we do. Why wouldn't we?"  
  
Fred looks from Knox to Spike, then back to Knox. "Uh.because Santa doesn't exist?"  
  
"Actually, he does," Spike intervenes.  
  
"What? Really?" Knox nods vigorously and Spike goes on, "A friend of Buffy told me once. She was an ex-vengeance demon, had been around for a thousand years. Anyway, she said that Santa did indeed exist, but he used to be evil. His main hobby being the disembodiment of children."  
  
Fred's face falls. "What? But that's horrible!"  
  
"I don't know the whole story, but one day he decided to stop slaughtering kiddies and to redeem himself. Hence the bringing of gifts once a year."  
  
"I'm pretty sure we must have something on him in the Files and Records section. He used to be one of our biggest clients," Knox adds.  
  
"Oh my God. I don't think I wanted to know that."  
  
Spike comes to her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Sorry, pet. We didn't want to upset you."  
  
"Yeah, sorry Boss. I thought you knew."  
  
"Are you alright?" Spike asks, caressing her hair.  
  
She shrugs and smiles at him. "Yeah. It's just that for a moment I felt like the day that stupid Holly Mercer told me he didn't exist. I cried for two days. Too bad I don't know where she is now. I could rub it in her face."  
  
"Well, if I don't see you anymore, have a merry Christmas then," Knox tells them before leaving.  
  
Spike waits for Fred at the threshold.  
  
"Where do you want to go?" she asks him, putting her coat on.  
  
"There's that mall two blocks from here. We could take the black Lamborghini I saw in the garage," he says with a smirk.  
  
"You're such a guy," she giggles, pausing at the door to switch the lights off. She suddenly notices something above them. Spike follows her gaze and smiles.  
  
There's mistletoe hanging on the doorframe. He raises an eyebrow. "Did you hope to get a kiss from science boy?" he asks, unable to prevent the twinge of jealousy.  
  
"Oh, no! I.I didn't put it there. I didn't even notice.and it's a stupid tradition, really. I mean, you're a vampire, so you don't have to respect it, right?"  
  
"Some traditions can be good," he replies. He loves it when she babbles, all flushed and embarrassed. She's so adorable.  
  
A little voice in his head reminds him of his earlier resolutions to clear things with her, to avoid being too close. But it would take being a saint to resist that expectation in her eyes, that sweet mouth of hers slightly half-open and begging to be kissed.  
  
He places his lips softly on hers. He hears her gasp. Normally it just has to be a friendly peck, but Spike doesn't want to let go. He suddenly grabs her by the waist and presses her against him. Her hand rises to his face and she opens her mouth, allowing him entrance.  
  
He always thought that kissing Fred would be somewhat sweet and calm. Soothing.  
  
Well, it's not. There's a passion in her he didn't expect. And what was supposed to be a nice traditional kiss is slowly turning into a heavy make- out session. But mostly, there's that sensation overwhelming him. The feeling that he's wanted, desired, cared about. Loved. All those sensations are enveloping him when he kisses Fred. And that's totally new to him, and damn scary.  
  
He gently breaks the kiss but doesn't let go of her. Their eyes meet. She has a confused look - but a happy one, too. "That was one Hell of a Christmas kiss," she says, giggling.  
  
Spike does everything he can to control the urge to kiss her again. And it's one of those rare times in his life/unlife when he's speechless. No cocky repartee, no knowing smirk. He's just looking at her with what he suspects is awe on his face.  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"Yeah, love?"  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like.like you want to kiss me again. Because, you know, if you do respect the tradition, then one kiss is enough."  
  
"Is it enough for you?" he asks, his blue eyes plunging into hers.  
  
"No," she admits softly.  
  
"Then sod the tradition," he whispers before kissing her again. Then he remembers they are in the hallway, and reluctantly stops. He grabs her hand and kisses her palm.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Fred."  
  
Her smile is the brightest he's ever seen. "Merry Christmas, William." 


	7. Bedroom Talk

Title: Bedroom Talk  
  
Author: Sophie  
  
Pairing: Spike/Fred  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
Spoilers: To 'Harm's Way'  
  
A/N : After this one I probably won't follow the events in S5 anymore and will go my own way. ;o-) Also I'm a little behind episode-wise, but it will keep on coming ;o)  
  
PART VII - Bedroom Talk  
  
Spike is the last person she expects to see on her doorstep that night. But, Fred thinks, if he's here, that means he's not on 'Slayer search'. That means he's not with 'her'.  
  
"Hey," she greets him softly.  
  
"Hey. Did I wake you up? I know it's late."  
  
She opens the door wider with a smile. "I wasn't sleeping yet. Come in."  
  
He steps inside. The whole apartment is plunged in darkness, except for the light coming from her bedroom. He shrugs his duster off on a chair before following her.  
  
"Make yourself at home," she tells him, while she goes back under the covers. Spike takes his boots off and climbs on the bed, sitting cross- legged.  
  
"What are you reading?" he asks, with a nod to the files on the bed. She takes them and puts them on the floor. "It's an article about the lack of particle cohesion in certain materials."  
  
"Best way to fall asleep quickly," he tells her, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Well, actually, it's very interesting. There's that theory where we can use a trans-reality amplifier that would be capable of focusing.never mind," she says with a smile.  
  
"I'm sure there must be English words in there somewhere, but for a stupid fella like me it sounds rather like Chinese, love."  
  
"You're not stupid, Spike."  
  
With a sigh, he lays back on the bed next to her. "Not so sure about that," he mutters.  
  
"Spike, why are you here?"  
  
He gives her a charming smile. "Why, pet, I wanted to see you."  
  
She almost loses focus at his words and the way he looks at her. "I mean why aren't you on your way to Europe.to see Buffy?"  
  
He remains silent for a moment before finally giving her the same explanation he gave Harmony earlier that night. The die-a-hero stuff, the can't-be-topped exit.  
  
Fred snorts. "Yeah, right. Spike, why aren't you in Europe?" she asks him again, and he looks at her and smiles. That's his Fred. There's no way he can bullshit her. She knows him better than anyone. Because she's the only one who ever took the time to get to know him. The real him.  
  
He takes her hand and kisses the palm. "I can't fool you, can I, sweetheart?"  
  
She shakes her head. "Uh-hu. Now I want the real reasons."  
  
"I just.I don't think it would be a good idea to go there and crash in on her life again. She has her own life now, a normal life like she always wanted.I would only be a painful reminder of.everything that happened. Whoever the people that brought me back here are, they must have a reason. Maybe I should figure that out first. Maybe I should let her move on, and so will I. After all these months, I'm starting to feel like I can."  
  
"That sounds more like the Spike I know," she says, entwining their fingers. He closes his eyes, and for the first time she notices how tired he looks. "You should get some rest," she advises him, even if she doesn't want him to go."  
  
"Yeah, suppose I should," he answers in a sleepy tone, and he doesn't want to go back to his empty room. But he can't impose on Fred, so he gets up.  
  
"You can stay here if you want," she blurts out suddenly, as if she's not sure it's a good idea but says it out loud before changing her mind.  
  
He smiles. "You're offering me your couch?"  
  
She blushes, realizing that in her mind the couch was not even an option. "Well.the couch is not very comfortable.and I have a big bed.and it's just to sleep, of course," she finally adds, thinking that maybe her bold proposition could be misinterpreted. Not that misinterpretation would be a bad thing in that case.  
  
She shakes the thought away and adds with a smile "It's an honest proposition."  
  
"Too bad it is, pet," he replies with his patent smirk she likes so much. She's never been so tempted to throw her shyness and gentle manners through the window and jump his bones right there and then. But she remembers that the day before, he was ready to leave to see another woman, so maybe it would be better if she waited for him to make the first move. Sure he flirts with her all the time, they share a great friendship and complicity, and he even kissed her once. Although it was more a traditional gesture because of the mistletoe. So before throwing herself at him, she'd better be certain he's not thinking about someone else.  
  
She understands it could take a while before that happens.  
  
"Mind if I take a shower then?" he asks.  
  
"No.go ahead."  
  
She tries to ignore the sound of clothes being dropped and the running water on his now naked body. She buries herself back in her report, but the excitement it generally provides now seems insipid compared to what's going on in her bathroom.  
  
He gets out a few minutes later, wearing only a towel, and without much ceremony, slips under the covers with a sigh of contentment, before rising slightly to drop a kiss on her cheek.  
  
"Good night sweetness. And thank you."  
  
"Good night, William," she whispers before turning the light off.  
  
She settles herself comfortably, fully aware of the manly presence beside her despite the lack of breathing.  
  
There's no way she'll be able to sleep now.  
§§§§§§§§§§  
  
She wakes up with the feel of a weight on her abdomen. The first thing she notices is that she fell asleep after all. The second that it wasn't for long, since it's still dark outside. A quick glance at her clock confirms it's far from dawn.  
  
A white spot indicates that the weight on her stomach is none other than Spike's head. Somehow he managed to rest it there, and one of his hands is casually placed on her hip.  
  
Carefully she brings her own hand to his head and caresses the curly mess. It's soft. She lets her hand rest on the nape of his neck, just at the frontier between his hair and his smooth skin.  
  
She closes her eyes with a smile. It's almost scary how this feels so natural, so right. Her feelings for Spike have now reached a point where it will either ends in laughter and joy, or tears and heartbreak.  
  
She fervently prays for the first option. 


	8. The Right Decision

PART VIII – The Right Decision

"What happens if I pour the blue one into the green one?"

"You erase Los Angeles and its surrounding from the map."

"Oh." Carefully, Spike puts back the small tube with the bright blue liquid he's holding. Fred smiles "You're dealing with powerful stuff, here, pet," he says.

"And yet I let you distract me, therefore putting the population of LA in terrible danger"

Spike steps behind her, circling her waist with his arms and putting his chin on her shoulder. "But you love the distraction," he tells her with a grin.

She leans slightly into his embrace. "More the distracter," she says.

He kisses her neck softly, making her shiver. His lips trace her collarbone before getting back to that sensitive spot behind her ear. "Spike..." she whispers.

"Mmmh?"

"I really want to finish this. Otherwise I'll have to spend the whole evening here."

He frowns. "That wouldn't be good. You're supposed to spend the evening with me."

"Exactly. And I'd rather have you continue this very nice thing you're doing to me in the privacy of my own apartment instead of here where anyone can barge in."

"If anyone barges in, I'll kill him," he says, placing one last kiss on her lips before releasing her.

A knock on the door makes them both jump and turn around.

Fred has never seen the pretty blond woman standing on the threshold. But when she sees Spike's face, she understands immediately who it is.

Buffy.

§§§§§§§§§§

Buffy hesitates for a moment. Her eyes wander from Spike to Fred and vice-versa. She has the awkward feeling that she just interrupted something very intimate. The two of them are standing very close to each other, and Spike's hand is on Fred's arm.

She doesn't know what to think. She didn't know what to expect when she came here. After all, Spike has been back for several months, and hasn't bothered to let her know. She only knows because Andrew couldn't hold his tongue any longer.

Buffy is not stupid, and she is well aware that Spike is not going to sweep her off of her feet and kiss her senseless as soon as he sees her.

She just didn't expect another woman.

§§§§§§§§§§

Suddenly, Fred has trouble breathing.

Her eyes are fixated on Buffy, and when the Slayer walks towards her and holds her hand with a smile, Fred automatically takes it even if all she wants to do is scream and tell Buffy to go back to where she comes from.

"You must be Fred," Buffy says with a smile. "I'm Buffy."

Fred nods and manages to say "Hi."

God, she should have seen that coming. She should have known that one day or another, she would come back to get Spike. Fred doesn't dare to look at him. She's afraid to see on his face the love and adoration she knows he always had for Buffy. A love that she has foolishly thought was all hers now, even if Spike had never exactly expressed it in words. But his eyes never lie, and the way he has been looking at her lately makes her heart swell with joy every time.

That heart is now slowly breaking piece by piece.

§§§§§§§§§§

To say that seeing Buffy again isn't a shock to Spike would be a lie. He didn't expect to see her suddenly standing here at the lab's door.

The real shock, though, is what it does to him.

He's happy to see her. She's even more beautiful than he remembers. She looks younger and rested, probably due to the fact that she can now share the heavy burden that was exclusively hers for seven years. He can feel that tenderness and protective feeling that never misses to fill him each time he's in her presence.

But, amazingly, that's all. No overwhelming feeling of passionate love. No urgent need to touch and kiss her everywhere. Just a fond and cherished memory of what once was, good and bad.

Spike smiles. He has never thought it was possible, but his heart has moved on. To the pretty and quiet brunette standing beside him. But his smile vanishes when he sees Fred's eyes. She looks sad and scared.

"Hello, Buffy," he says, careful not to let his feelings transpire at that moment.

"Hey," she replies in a soft tone. "I'm sorry to arrive like this, but...I...Can we talk?" she asks him.

"Of course," he says.

Fred has turned her back to her work, and carefully hides her face behind her hair. Spike looks at her tenderly for a brief moment before saying, "Buffy, there's a conference room down the hall. I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

"Ok," Buffy says hesitantly, looking at Fred's back and adding, "Bye Fred."

The young scientist takes a deep breath before turning back with a smile. "Bye Buffy. It was nice meeting you."

The blonde leaves the room and Spike turns to Fred. He gently pushes a lock of hair away from her face. "I'll go talk to her. Why don't you finish your work here and go home, and I'll meet you there later as we planned?"

She shoots him a surprised glance. "But you...I thought..."

"You thought what?" he asks, softly caressing her cheek.

"I...nothing," she finally says, and color is back on her smiling face.

"Ok then. Fred, pet, you trust me, right?"

She nods immediately. "Of course."

"Don't worry. I'll meet you at your place, ok?" He starts to leave, but can't resist the love he sees shining in her eyes. He cups her cheek with his hand and presses a sweet kiss onto her lips. He allows himself to get lost in her scent and touch for a few minutes.

"I love you," she tells him, and there's fierceness in her voice. She's not going to let him go to Buffy without claiming her territory. She has never said it before, so now seems the perfect opportunity.

Spike smiles tenderly, kissing her again, pouring into that kiss everything he can't say yet. Not before he closes the door to his past.

§§§§§§§§§§

Buffy sits on one of the tables, waiting for him. She gets up as soon as he arrives.

There's an awkward silence before she asks, "Why?" There's hurt and confusion in that single word and he knows what she's asking him.

"I couldn't at first," he explains. "I was a bloody ghost for a while and was somehow bonded to this place. When I became corporeal again, I...I thought it would be better if I let you be. For you and for me. I was starting to find my place here. I like it. Angel is still a pain in the ass, but...we're getting along. Who would have thought?" he says, chuckling. "I'm sorry. I know you hate when others decide what's best for you. I should have at least given you a call."

"No, I think I understand. After all that happened...I can't really blame you."

"It's not that I didn't want to see you," he assured her. "I just needed to find my own place...make an unlife for myself." _One that didn't resolve exclusively around you, _he added mentally.

She smiles, despite her obvious sadness. "I respect that. And...I'm glad you did. I'm glad you had that chance. You deserve it."

"So do you. You finally have a shot at that normal life you always wanted."

"Yeah, well. I realized that normal is kind of overrated. And boring. But I deal. And there's still a lot to do, slayers to find, to train...you know the drill."

He hesitates before asking, "So...you don't have anyone special in your life?"

She shakes her head. "No. I didn't really have the time to..." She takes a deep breath. "It would have been easier if I stopped thinking about you all the time," she adds with a hopeful glance.

He shifts uncomfortably and her heart leaps in her chest. "Buffy..."

She raises her hand. "I know," she says softly. "I'm too late." He looks at her, surprised, and she adds, "Fred."

The look in his eyes convinces her that she has guessed right.

"She's special," he says simply, but the tone of his voice is revealing enough.

"She'll certainly treat you better than I ever did."

He comes closer, putting his hand on her hair. "Buffy, there's nothing I regret. Everything that happened between us...it wasn't a walk in the park, that's for sure, but...falling in love with you was one of the smartest thing I ever did. It made me what I am today. For that, I am grateful. I don't regret a single thing," he repeats.

There's a silence and he can see that she's holding back her tears. He has a bittersweet smile at the irony of it all. For years he has patiently waited for her to be ready and accept that they were meant to be together. And when she finally does...he realizes he was wrong.

The love he has for her will always remain. But she's not the one he wants to go on with. Not the one he wants to wake up with every morning, and spend the day with, whether it is quiet or apocalyptic. When he envisions the future, all he can see is a pair of pretty hazel eyes and a bright smile.

"I meant it, you know," she suddenly says. "What I told you in the Hellmouth, before it collapsed. I meant it." She doesn't say the words because she doesn't want to embarrass him. But she needs him to know.

He smiles, and takes her in his arms. She presses herself to him, but not in a seducing manner. She just needs comfort, and the reassurance that he's back, even if it's not to be with her.

"I'll always be there if you need me, Buffy," he whispers in her hair. "I'm not going to pretend that we can be friends, because we can't. But we're more than that. And you can count on me. Anytime."

"Same here," she answers, squeezing him one last time before letting go. She leans to press a kiss against his cheek. "Be happy," she tells him before leaving.

Spike stays alone for a moment, processing what just happened. Happy. Yeah, he really wants to try that.

§§§§§§§§§§

Spike has the key to Fred's apartment, but he always rings the bell. He likes to see her open the door, her face lights up when she realizes it's him.

This time, there's joy on her face, and a good dose of relief as well. He smiles at that. "Stupid bint," he tells her tenderly. She throws herself in his arms and he laughs before kissing her.

When she comes up for air, she looks at him in the eyes and asks, "Are you sure?"

The look of veneration on his face is an answer in itself, but she needs the reassurance, and it's about time he gives it to her.

"I love you," he whispers against her lips, and Fred's heart almost bursts. She knows him well enough to know it's not something he says lightheartedly. He truly means it.

He shrugs off his duster and takes off his shoes, before lifting her up in his arms and bringing her into the bedroom, while murmuring sweet nothings in her ear.

Like Spike had once said, he had made a lot of wrong calls in the past. Loving Fred was definitely the best one he would ever make.


End file.
